tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post5112110708312878031..comments2023-04-27T09:09:49.945-05:00Comments on Making Peace With the Wrong Side of 40: Who am I?Cindy Lou Whohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10369628893088728744noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-4481743827654567162013-01-23T06:21:24.378-06:002013-01-23T06:21:24.378-06:00I guess you have a point. We both feel like the ri...I guess you have a point. We both feel like the ring and paper aren't important, so we haven't bothered getting legally married. Thank you, Carol Anne, for helping me put it in perspective!Cindy Lou Whohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10369628893088728744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-63221862978302601602013-01-23T00:52:14.405-06:002013-01-23T00:52:14.405-06:00I didn't want to get married, no scratch that ...I didn't want to get married, no scratch that I didn't care if I got married. I didn't and still don't believe that a gold ring and a marriage license makes a man or a woman a good partner/spouse. My rather unhappily married parents certainly didn't paint a rosy picture of marriage and I had no illusions about a wedding transforming anyone into anything. <br /><br />My husband (then boyfriend) wanted to get married. It meant something to him and I loved him so we had a wedding and got married. He's a good guy and he'd be a good guy with or without a ring and a legal document. It was what he wanted and I love him so said yes and had a wedding. <br /><br />Thirteen years later when I unexpectedly fell ill he wouldn't have been able to make the decisions he did if we were not married. Sometimes things happen for a previously unknown reason. <br /><br />I say make peace with the land and build the house your way. Make sure that the building you are living in makes you happy. And I know this is cliched but it's true, for me home is wherever Chuck is, the building in which we are living doesn't really matter much to me. (((hugs))) carol annehttp://www.soapboxville.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-40011504862041936622013-01-21T19:49:51.824-06:002013-01-21T19:49:51.824-06:00It's less about fear of becoming consumerist t...It's less about fear of becoming consumerist than it is about all that responsibility that comes with home ownership.Owning a home comes with property taxes and maintenance and insurance and all that shit. When something breaks, you have to fix it, which takes MORE money, which means that the house DOES end up owning me. <br /><br />However, you do have a point: Mollie loves to run, and she should have a place to run. Also, counter space is very good, and I DO get to choose the finishes, which means marble floors, granite counter-tops, and Spanish tile on the fireplace (among other things bahahahaha)Cindy Lou Whohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10369628893088728744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-36900348446767498412013-01-21T18:42:52.492-06:002013-01-21T18:42:52.492-06:00Oh honey, that's so difficult. Teala makes som...Oh honey, that's so difficult. Teala makes some good points. I think - and this is just a theory I have based on having been unhappily married - that maybe it's not so much the house you don't want as it is what owning a home means to you emotionally. Just because you two have a house doesn't mean you'll turn all consumerist and stuff-obsessed and unhappy and whatever again. Or I could be on the wrong track, in which case I say think of Mollie and counter space in the kitchen. Hugs. triplezmomhttp://www.triplezmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-36796798015481698282013-01-21T14:25:23.122-06:002013-01-21T14:25:23.122-06:00I do believe that Mollie would LOVE LOVE LOVE more...I do believe that Mollie would LOVE LOVE LOVE more space to run. That little doggie of mine loves to run. Somehow, I'll figure out how to make peace with this thing I don't want. <br /><br />I'm hoping like hell that we have some spare cash real soon. I could use a day trip to the metroplex to hang out with a superhero!Cindy Lou Whohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10369628893088728744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393283123747063306.post-76028859197269774382013-01-21T13:16:19.613-06:002013-01-21T13:16:19.613-06:00Oh, Cindy! I don't know how to make peace with...Oh, Cindy! I don't know how to make peace with it. I don't know how to compromise on it. I don't know how it ends for you and your Sunshine. <br /><br />But I'm sure you will find some way for peace and compromise for you and your Sunshine because you love each other.<br /><br />Obviously there's something deeper in him that wants this land and this house, but as I said, it would seem that it's something he wants for you and himself and something he wants to give you. A home. Whatever that means. Wherever you are together. Lots of stuff or no stuff. With a good perspective on stuff (like yours), a place that doesn't in fact end up owning you. A place made of love, kindness, and trust.<br /><br />Whatever happens, know that you are loved and supported. Some way, you'll BOTH find a compromise. <br /><br />Please email or call or whatever me if you need anything. No matter what. I'm here.<br /><br />(Also, a smallish house could be nice. More storage? No nosey or asshole neighbors? More stable interwebz connection? A place for Molly to run around? Purple flavored walls? Pantsless parties? You could totally walk around without pants and not have to worry about it. #justsaying)SuperTealahttp://meltintothetext.comnoreply@blogger.com