03 February 2012

Friday fashion fix

Sorry, Joules, I have no clothes today.

I woke up batshit crazy this morning. I only changed clothes 8 times before I made it out the door. The 7 rejected outfits were left crumpled on the bed. I blamed my mood on the weather, and got in my car and left. My car knew it wasn't the weather, and it drove me to an AA meeting. I felt better afterward. Lots better.

Here's where the fix comes in.

Sunshine and I went out to lunch, which was awesome. After lunch, he and I went shopping. We bought a storage chest/ottoman thingie for me to use to store all of his office shit in, and then we bought a new dining table and chairs to go in the magic bus.

I have no pictures yet. It hasn't made it into the house.

There is some serious ugly in the way at the moment.
This hideous banquette seating must go before we can bring in the new dining set.

That sounds simple enough, right?

Not so fast. This is a magic bus. Everything is different in a magic bus. All of the furniture is bolted to the floor. Apparently, all of the furniture also has the hidden surprise of seat belts bolted to the floor hiding within each piece.

"How many seat belts can there possibly be?", you ask?

I assure you that it is more than enough seat belts that any Project Runway designer with half an ounce of talent could make a beautiful outfit in the unconventional challenge. (There's the fashion bit of today's fix, Joules.)

We pulled no less than 4 seat belt straps out from under that ugly couch that the TV lived on until last weekend. I pulled out no less than 8 from under the ugly ass banquette seats this afternoon. (We still have one more couch to go, and this doesn't even consider the seat belts that are obviously necessary for the driver and passenger seats.)

All that unbolting seat belts from the floor wore my fucking ass out. I was so tired that I didn't even want to dick with the ordeal of unbolting that ugly ass banquette seating from the floor and walls. That is tomorrow's grand adventure.

I promise, I will post photos of the new furniture items. They will include the fugly carpet, because until we finish buying replacement furniture for all the ugly inside this bus. Then, we get to buy wood for floors and build a custom entertainment center (for the 52" LCD TV that we have. Inside a magic bus.)

Y'all have a beautiful day tomorrow. I'll be getting rid of the ugly. And cleaning out the fucking nasty that hides underneath it.


  1. Believe it or not, I'm sort of ... jealous. Yep. You see, we've been renovating an old and very abused house ever since I started having babies. Uh huh. Imagine. So every last thing that gets torn asunder has something really fugly underneath with which I must deal. And this is one big-ass house.

    So your bus, the size of it? Without little beastlies running around it (aside from your puppybeastlie) sounds like heaven.

    But it is all perspective. You have my complete sympathies for your being wiped out from the tasks you completed today, and nonplussed about the ones you shall be tackling tomorrow. For no matter how large or small the overall project is, each individual job takes a huge amount of fortitude.

    I can't wait to see the pics!

  2. No worries, I can wait. Enjoy eradicating the ugly. Can't wait to see the finished product.

    1. I can't wait for the finished product either! For now, I'll have to be content with stage one until we can afford to get rid of the carpet.