10 August 2012

Damn it, Joules

Yes, Joules, I blame you.

Coffee with a friend sometimes is a beautiful idea.


Also, we only have Starbucks around here, which is sorely overpriced considering how disgusting it tastes.

These days, there are not enough hours in the day for laundry, much less coffee with friends. There aren't enough dollars in the bank account, either. There isn't enough food in the house, or enough clean clothing in the closet. There isn't enough.

Maybe I am just looking at it wrong. I know that often, solving my problems is really just a matter of looking at them differently. New perspectives. So I shall try to step outside my own box and look at it differently.

Also, prioritize. That ticket must be paid off, absolutely. The car must be registered, definitely. And time must be allocated for grocery shopping.

How? I can't seem to figure it out. Not enough hours in the day. Not enough dollars coming into the bank account.

Jesus fuck.

I know my life is good.

Why can't I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel?

I'll get through it. I mean, I only have a few more weeks until all the dumb shit from 3 months ago is paid off and I can focus on the idea behind yesterday's post.

Thank you, Joules.

There is my answer. Sunshine tried to tell me. Thank you, Joules, for kicking off the thought process that got me there.

Just a few more weeks. I can do anything for a few more weeks. (Hey, once you've survived the shit I've been through, that's an easy statement to make and live up to.)

In the meantime, even though it wasn't a formal meeting, Sunshine & I did have a nice talk the other night about how there isn't a chemical solution to my problem; and when two addicts get together to share their recovery, that is a meeting. Also, home group tomorrow. Two days off, Monday and Tuesday, and plans to fix the car registration AND go play air hockey with Hydro and @Reshaud.

I can do anything for a few more weeks.

Damn it, Joules.

And, Joules, thank you. Thank you for being part of my recovery today.

Thank you to all of you (all 4 or 8 of you who read my blathering),for being my support. For being light in my life. For your hugs and glitter flinging and promises of adventures to come. Thank you.


  1. My kids are really into this book that describes a drink company, owned by a pig, called "Cup O'Mud". The pig even says he's successful because of all his advertising. Every time we read it I think of Starbucks.

    And you can do anything for a few more weeks. Especially if you get to play air hockey. Hugs.

    1. I like this book, and just might buy it for Sunshine, who hunts for wild pigs (but not domesticated pigs who own their own businesses), and also drinks Starbucks green chai something

  2. Yes, you can do anything for a few weeks. If you need an ear for ranting or just talking (we could have a chat and both drink coffee?), call me homie!

    1. DM me your number, I got a new phone

    2. also, I am not far from starting those classes. I am totally counting on you to find non-Starbucks hangouts in DFW for us to meet up at. I am most familiar with the north central expressway area and preston road.

  3. A few weeks? You've totally got this. And Starbucks coffee totally blows. You should come visit me and Joules in PDX. We've got Dutch Brothers(OMG), Stumptown, and a multiplicity of other delicious independent coffee brewers. This guy at my farmer's market? Brews a cup that literally made me weepy.
    Also, call me, whenever.

    1. I totally need to talk Sunshine into a trip to PDX. I needs me some real cawfee and some real life #bandaid

  4. Ha, I'll take it!
    And here's my scenario #1.
    Brew up a pot of strong ass coffee.
    Flavor as desired.
    Kick those mountain climbing boots up on some surface of the magic bus.
    Put your phone on speaker.
    Call me.
    You CAN do this. YOU - who climbs mountains and hauls equipment in sky high boots, who walked the walk and cleaned her shit up, who always asks what else can I do - can do anything. Period.

    1. DM or email me your number. New phone, homeslice. Also, must find job that allows mountain climbing boots and hill climbing sandals.