We spent the weekend in Dallas. Which means that all those clothes went to consignment. What the consignment shop didn't take went to my friend who promised to take them to a domestic violence shelter. I'm so grateful I don't have to look at all that gross consumerism anymore!
Of course, there was post road trip clean up to be done. Three days worth of dirty laundry had to be dealt with, and all those shoes that traveled with us had to be put away. I took advantage of the opportunity to purge more shoes. I also got rid of a few more items of clothing. (Yes, you read that correctly. I purged more shoes.)
As I write this post, I am sitting in the midst of the mess all that laundry and purging created. Rather than clean it up, I decided the thing to do was to write about it. Because that helps solve the problem.
I sometimes hate what all of this reveals about me. I am a western consumer. I shop instead of using dope these days. I eat cookies (or M&Ms, or whatever) to avoid the sads. None of this shit fixes me. It just causes more chaos that in turn causes more sad, or guilt, or whatever, which in turn causes more shopping or cookies or whatever...
It is a vicious cycle, and I am starting to break it. I am tired of feeling all that guilt and sadness and shit that all this shopping and shit brings me. I am tired of being one of the sheep that blindly follows along with all this western style consumerism. I am tired of killing the planet with my endless need to have MORE.
I am sitting here playing musical piles with a fucking purple sleeveless knit top. I won't wear it enough to keep it; I'll wear it a lot as a layering piece come summer; what the fuck do I have that goes with a purple top?; I have many things that go with a purple top; I don't fucking layer with pieces like this in the brutal summers around here; bitch, you know you ain't gonna wear that purple top with that shit no matter how well it "goes" with all of it...
This is how it goes with me.
Well, this is how it used to go with me. Today, I am getting rid of the purple top. Today, I am shedding one more layer of bullshit.