07 November 2012

Post road-trip clean-up

We spent the weekend in Dallas. Which means that all those clothes went to consignment. What the consignment shop didn't take went to my friend who promised to take them to a domestic violence shelter. I'm so grateful I don't have to look at all that gross consumerism anymore!

Of course, there was post road trip clean up to be done. Three days worth of dirty laundry had to be dealt with, and all those shoes that traveled with us had to be put away. I took advantage of the opportunity to purge more shoes. I also got rid of a few more items of clothing. (Yes, you read that correctly. I purged more shoes.)

As I write this post, I am sitting in the midst of the mess all that laundry and purging created. Rather than clean it up, I decided the thing to do was to write about it. Because that helps solve the problem.

I sometimes hate what all of this reveals about me. I am a western consumer. I shop instead of using dope these days. I eat cookies (or M&Ms, or whatever) to avoid the sads. None of this shit fixes me. It just causes more chaos that in turn causes more sad, or guilt, or whatever, which in turn causes more shopping or cookies or whatever...

It is a vicious cycle, and I am starting to break it. I am tired of feeling all that guilt and sadness and shit that all this shopping and shit brings me. I am tired of being one of the sheep that blindly follows along with all this western style consumerism. I am tired of killing the planet with my endless need to have MORE.

I am sitting here playing musical piles with a fucking purple sleeveless knit top. I won't wear it enough to keep it; I'll wear it a lot as a layering piece come summer; what the fuck do I have that goes with a purple top?; I have many things that go with a purple top; I don't fucking layer with pieces like this in the brutal summers around here; bitch, you know you ain't gonna wear that purple top with that shit no matter how well it "goes" with all of it...

This is how it goes with me.

Well, this is how it used to go with me. Today, I am getting rid of the purple top. Today, I am shedding one more layer of bullshit.

6 comments:

  1. I am loving SO much reading your journey through minimalism. This is good.

    Shed that purple top and the layer of bullshit.

    You rock!

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    1. The purple top is GONE! I feel lighter, somehow.

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  2. Some people are calling this the act of decolonization. Have you heard this term? I'm really fascinated with the whole subject, and where it might lead ...

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    1. I had to do some google-fingering on decolonization, which took me into "decolonization of the mind". The reading I did made some sense to me, although it raised many existential questions related to not knowing exactly what my genetic heritage might be. As an adopted child, I have no idea if I am descended from White Europeans or Native Americans or what (although the mirror tells me it is most likely White European, possibly Irish or Scots). Perhaps the existential questions have arisen because it is 4 in the morning and I can't sleep; Mollie woke me up barking at whatever creature knocked over the trash can. This decolonization is certainly something I will explore further once I have had sleep (or coffee). Thank you, Karen, for opening my mind a bit more.

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    2. I think that the whole idea of decolonizing considers the fact that many of us don't know our ancestors, adopted or not. And there is much discussion about people who want to claim indigenous ancestry and how disconcerting (really understated description) that is to people who have family connections but have lived on reserves and/or lives of poverty strictly because of their life's situation. They might contend that your people are the people who chose you ... that's where you come from, regardless of ancestry. And then it is what you choose to do, to follow the road of consumerism, which supports the need for oil regardless of where it comes from, or you chose the road of decolonizing, which is what you seem to be doing anyway.

      I think it is my responsibility to decolonize myself, the shit I say, the stuff I teach my kids, the way I feel entitled (or simply am entitled by default because I was raised to expect to succeed, to have the answers, etc). And also to find ways to support indigenous self-determination (as an ally). I'm still figuring that part out, I understand that it is more a silent role than an active one ... rather tricky as you can imagine for someone like me who takes comfort in having all the answers ...

      Anyway, sorry to hear your pup barked you awake at 4 am over a visitor ... I'm glad my kids are finally past the regular 4 am interruptions, I can tell you. I hope you fell back asleep easily!

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    3. I like this. It seems to fit well with the idea of living mindfully. Which is something I'm starting to think about as I look at all the gross consumerism I am now having to clean up.

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