I had almost forgotten...

I had almost forgotten how bad detox was.

I don't think one can ever really forget detox; it's horrifically bad.

I just think that time had dulled the memories.

This morning, I got a lovely reminder. I started feeling light-headed, which initially made me think "guess it's time to start taking iron supplements again", and then my hands and feet started getting all tingly/numb. It then occurred to me that this feeling I was experiencing is sometimes the precursor to yarfing.

Within thirty seconds of the onset of symptoms, I realized that my smartest move was to lie down in the floor, since I was certain that was where I was headed anyway. By this time, Sunshine had walked in and noticed that something was amiss. He asked what he could do to help me; my only response was "stay close".

Within thirty seconds of lying down in the floor, I became grateful that I had done so right next to the trash can. I sat up and begged Sunshine to get me a hair tie, fast, because I just knew I was about to throw up. Thank heaven he knew where he dropped them when he pulled them out of his hair the night before.

I dragged myself up onto the trash can and propped my head over it as waves of cold washed over me.

I dry heaved for about three minutes, and I'm pretty sure I spiked a high fever for those three minutes. I slumped there, shaking, cold and hot, dry heaving, and sweating profusely.

Sunshine kept making appropriately soothing noises from his spot on the couch. Bless his heart, I think he has learned that when I'm that sick, just leave me alone--I'll ask for help if I need it.

After about three minutes of dry heaving, I was finally able to just huddle there, hanging on to the trash can for dear life. I was drenched with sweat, freezing to death where skin was exposed and burning up where it wasn't.

Whatever it was, it finally passed. I was able to get my stuffs and things done today without further incident. I've felt a little weak and tired all day, but otherwise OK. However, as I sit here tonight, I'm reminded how bad detox really was.

I have no clue what the fuck was wrong with me this morning. I don't know that it even matters. What I do know is that it was over in a matter of minutes, and for that I am grateful.

Detox, on the other hand, went on for days; cycling through the same symptoms and events as this morning's incident FOR DAYS ON END.

Thanks to the program of Narcotics Anonymous, I don't ever have to detox again. After this morning, I am reminded why I don't want to.