I was sitting here watching last night's "road to the runway" on my DVR when one of the contestants mentioned being in recovery and having no regrets. This got me to thinking about a conversation Sunshine and I had a couple of weeks ago with a friend of ours in recovery. That guy? Had regrets. He said that if he had it all to do over again, there was a bunch of shit he'd do differently.
Now, I have often said that I have no regrets, because everything I've been through in my life shaped me into the person I am today. I mean, I've done some cook shit in my life, shit I might have missed out on had my life taken a different path.
However, as I get older (and hopefully wiser), I also realize that a different path might have left me in a different place right now. Don't get me wrong, I love Sunshine dearly and wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world. It's just that sometimes, I get tired of the struggles that come along with addiction.
The stigmas, the prejudices, the discrimination; some days, that shit is hard.
The good news, if one call call it that, is that we are so fucking broke right now that I have no time or energy to waste on regrets. Today, I just don't have it in me to thing about what might have been.
So, do I have regrets? Absolutely.
I'll think about those tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.