I started my new job this weekend. I like it quite a bit; I just have to get readjusted to being on my feet for eight hours a day. Also, I need to find a way to get more sleep; coffee only carries one so far.
I also need new shoes. Well, need might be a bit strong of a word. I have shoes. I have many shoes. I just don't know if I have shoes that will serve me well while standing on my feet all day. It seems so hard to find shoes that have arch support, ball-of-foot cushioning, and that don't pinch the toes or heel. It isn't impossible to find shoes that meet two of those requirements; however, in Shreveport, finding something that meets all three is "mission impossible".
In addition to the physical adjustments I am going through with the new job, I have been stewing in a lot of deep shit lately. I just lost a friend to overdose, I have been challenged to think about privilege in a new way by April, and Sunshine just keeps throwing fringe ideas at me that boggle the mind.
I'm not going to talk about most of this stuff that has been making the rounds in the chat-rooms of my mind; it's too controversial, and I am just not as brave as some people are.
So I'm going to leave you with a fringe idea. Time is an illusion, and there is no now.
Think about it. If we look at what time is (the interval between two events), then we realize that time is an entirely human construct. If we then think about that interval between two events, we realize that he who is living in the moment is living in timelessness. We humans call that timelessness "eternity". So, s/he who lives in the moment lives in eternity. Now, let me really cook your noodle by throwing a "gladiator" movie quote at you: "What we do in life echoes in eternity" and tell you to figure that one out.
Time is an illusion. It is the interval between two events; with those two events being arbitrarily assigned. By humans. Who need to label and define everything.
Now, I am going to fuck you up a little further.
We may be living in the moment, but there is no "now".
Think about it. What I THINK I am experiencing in this moment? Actually occurred in the past. It takes time for the senses and the brain to process the input, and while that time may be measurable in nano-seconds, it has still elapsed. Which means that the barking I am hearing from my dog RIGHT NOW? Actually happened in the past, because time has elapsed while my ears and brain process the input.
It can get deeper, if you like. Remember when I said that time is an illusion? Which means that the "time" the senses and mind spent processing input? Is cooking my noodle. Seriously.
This is what it is like to live with Sunshine these days. We'll talk about zombie programs another day, because they are actually interesting and have nothing to do with undead creatures that want to eat brains. Which is a shame, actually, since these fringe ideas have my brain stewing to edible perfection.
I need more coffee. Now.