13 July 2011

Powertools, because it's always about the fucking dog

So I last posted on Sunday, with a promise to post again on Monday if I didn't kill or maim myself with powertools that afternoon. Well, I neither killed nor maimed myself; nor did I post on Monday.

I was too tired. It was like one hundred twenty fucking degrees outside and I am too old for that shit.

However, the work had to be done, so we did it.

The dog. Let me state for the record that I love the dog and wouldn't get rid of her for anything. It's just that I wasn't the one who wanted a dog. Mr. Sunshine wanted a dog, so I, Ms. Sunshine, got one from him, Mr. Sunshine, for Valentine's Day. I asked for pink shoes, by the way.
I didn't want a dog because I can barely be responsible for myself, forget another creature that depends on me for stuff.  It's why I don't have kids.  So, quite often, I get a little stabby because the dog NEEDS so much from me.  Mr. Sunshine wonders why I'm stabby; it's usually about the fucking dog that I didn't want to begin with and now have to be responsible for.

But back to the powertools.

So we built a little lattice fence around the yard to keep her from escaping. It wasn't very tall, she's just a miniature dachshund. Somehow, she learned to jump OVER the damned fence. So on Sunday, Mr. Sunshine's only free day, we set out to make the fence taller in the areas where she could get enough leverage to clear the short little fence.

This involved putting power tools in my hands. Powertools are awesome. Powertools are almost as effective as a mosh pit for releasing pent-up aggression.

But I digress.

Immediately upon completion of our task and packing away the powertools, the dog goes OVER the fence in a spot where we didn't think she would be able to.

Which meant that we had to unpack all the powertools and begin anew.

Now, it goes without saying that I was not fucking happy about it. There are not enough powertools available to release the aggression that working in 120 degree heat causes me to feel.

At least I didn't kill or maim myself, or Mr. Sunshine, with the powertools.And for now, the dog can't escape, which makes her all cute and sweet again.

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