06 October 2011

Pants are bullshit. Or maybe I just hate show blacks.

I can't find any pants to wear to work tomorrow.

I have lots of pants. I have lots of good pants. It's just that they've all been hemmed to be worn with heels. Like, four inch heels. Which means they'd be a trip hazard in anything less, like all of my stagehand shoes.

I go through this shit every time I have to work.

If clothing manufacturers would make pants that actually fit real women, then I wouldn't have this problem. The only pants I can find that work for me in my daily life just won't work in my stagehand life.

Who in the fuck do these assholes think they are making pants for any damned way? The normal inseam on ladies ready-to-wear pants is about 2" too short on me, and that is with no shoes on. Then the fucking rise is just ridiculous--the fucking waistband is ABOVE MY BELLYBUTTON. There can not be that fucking many short-legged, long torso women out there that fucking clothing manufacturers feel the need to make that many damned short-leg high-rise pants. Then there are the fuckers that make pants that are too short for me, even in bare feet, and these pants are too fucking tight on my ass and thighs and 6 inches too big in the fucking waist (I'm looking at you, Old Navy.)

I am outraged at clothing manufacturers.

I am a little bit (OK, a lot) in love with Aunt Becky for giving me my battle cry:

Now, much like Aunt Becky, I wish I could just go pants-less. However, if we did, her father would be all "Rebecca, where are your pants?", and my job steward would be all "I refuse to be held responsible for what my crew does to you if you do not go put on some pants."

I feel better now. Thank you for listening to my rant.

Now, off to figure out what the fuck to wear to work tomorrow.