08 December 2011

Another disgustingly productive day

I have to go get the alignment done on my car. It hasn't been done in the 3 or 4 months since I got the new tires. I know, that's not good. But there has been no money.

Thanks to the unexpected happenings from last week, I can finally go get the alignment done. And rotate the tires.

Also, pay Sunshine's speeding ticket.

Then, ironing. And candy making. (If there's time for candy making, that is. I hate waiting at car places.) Also, laundry. It's piling up huge.

I just don't know how to sit still.

I mean, it's gotten better since I started working a program of recovery. I can actually be alone with myself. Sometimes, I can just sit a while, but usually I have to DO SOMETHING. Iron clothes, clean the bathroom, something.

Maybe it's because I have a mother who was a little bit "anal" (her word, not mine) about cleaning. But I can't sit still often. It seems like there is always something to do.

I'm just glad that i'm on my winter break and there is time to do it.


  1. Oh, how I crave the time just to sit still right now but I have none. I am very much capable of sitting still, but I don't know if it classifies as doing nothing ... knitting, reading, making stuff.

    But for now, with three smallish children (two homeschooling) and a renovation that is near finished and desperately awaiting rental status, there simply is no time.

    In my way, I may be a bit jealous, even if you feel restless. Funny that.

    One of the things I loved the most about recovery was the discovery of the in between things, like being restless and being (mostly) okay with it and curious about what simply being restless felt like. I almost felt like a scientist in my own life back then, with my head permanently tipped to one side. There were lots I struggled with too, but that is a memory I most certainly cherish.

    And send candy. Stat. Because you love me.