"I just snuck out of mom's house to smoke" definitely tops the list.
I'm at mom's this weekend. She hasn't smoked in decades. So I have to smoke outside. She's retired, so she no longer gets up at the asscrack of dawn. So I have to be quiet when I go outside. It feels kind of weird.
"But mom, I really want new shoes" just sounds so wrong coming out of my 41+ year old mouth.
We were at the mall and I wanted shoe stores. Because I wanted new shoes. Mom says "you are NOT getting shoes." She thinks my shoes are ridiculous and that I need to start wearing flat-heel shoes. She's got this mental image of me, at 62, tottering around in 5" platforms.
She's got a point, and I have started buying (and wearing) less skyscraper-ish heels. But I still want new shoes. Always I want new shoes.
"But mom, I thought we were going to DO something" sounds exceptionally whiny coming from me.
She thinks I mean get in the car and go places and shop and shit like that.
I don't. I just thought she had this, like, whole list of chores she wanted help with and then I get here and there's 3 (three) little things she wants done. We finished by 11 AM yesterday. I didn't bring any books or anything because I thought we would be all cleaning the closets and moving furniture and shit.
When did my mom start wasting slave labor (I mean, her children's energy)?
"But I LIKE diet Dr. Pepper" sounds rebellious.
Mom thinks I eat too much cookies and such. Also, I drink too much caffeine.
Oh well, I gave up booze and drugs. Leave me alone.
These are things I shouldn't be saying at my age.
You got any?