27 February 2012


Here lately, I haven't done much of anything, except go to Dallas for some shopping and a fab new haircut, which was a definite win.

If I get real honest with myself, it is nothing more than short-timers. I am about a quarter of the way through my final semester at college, and I am scared shitless.

I would love to tell you that I am just afraid that nobody is going to hire a 42 year olf convicted felon.

That would be a lie.

I am terrified of "growing up". I am frightened to death of becoming an adult, of having to be responsible for myself, of having a "real" job.

Thank heaven for Narcotics Anonymous. I heard exactly what I needed to hear in a meeting Saturday night. A friend shared about dealing with fear. He spoke of how, when he starts taking action, the problem seems to lessen, and the fear isn't as great.

So, I suppose it is time to take action. First step, resume. Thank heaven for Teresa, the woman who used to keep our lives manageable. She once offered to help me create a resume. With any luck, she is still willing. If anybody can make "42, convicted felon, first-time college graduate" sound employable, it is Teresa. The rest of it, what I do with the resume, is all on me. And if there is anything I can say I am good at, it's putting on my game face and bullshitting my way through the fear.

I have to put this out there. I need you to hold me accountable. Even if you never ask about my progress, I know that I have told you this, and therefore feel some need to follow through.

Now, if I can just muster up the courage to hit "publish".


  1. And with that click, you took action. You got this.

    1. I hope so, honey. I am petrified of becoming a "responsible adult". At least I've got lunch with you to look forward to!

  2. You can do it, Cindy Lou!! You took the leap and went to college, right? Now you've got that under your belt, you can do this too!

    **if you need someone to nag, I can do it - just ask my husband =P

    1. nagging couldn't hurt, right? Thank you!