Graduation from college is looming large; hanging over my head like a 6000 ton weight that is threatening to smoosh me flat.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a freight train, it's loaded with shit, it's running at full speed, and it's not stopping.
I have been employing almost all of my methods of denial and avoidance lately, trying not to think about it. I did get the resume done, I did get it taken to an employment service. Now it's time to follow up with them and also to start working with more of those employment services.
There is this part of me that feels as if I am standing on the edge of a cliff, not wanting to jump because it's scary. That part of me doesn't trust that there really is a hang-glider attached to my back.
I've jumped off the cliff before, so I know that the hang-glider is there and that it works. I know that the flight will be exhilarating, because it always has been in the past.
So why am I afraid to step off the cliff?
That, my friends, is the nature of addiction. Fear, self-centeredness, insecurity, fear, ego, selfishness. Did I mention fear?
I just had to put this out there, because I need some of that nagging that was promised.
I want to fly. I just need a nudge to push me off the cliff, I guess.