06 June 2012

Pay it forward

There's so much shit I want to blather on about. All these complaints. All these fears. All this life stuff that I think about, all this recovery stuff that I'm living through as I write 8th step stuff on paper in preparation for making my amends.

I can't. Not today.

Yesterday, after I clocked out of work, I checked my phone on the way to the cigarette store. There's a text message from Wayne saying that the water hose exploded and one of us needed to go get one.

While an exploded water hose may seem inconsequential to most, to those of us living in RVs, it means no water. No baths. No coffee. No flushing the toilet.

So I add WalMart to the to-do list.

I hate WalMart. However, they were the most convenient and affordable place to go get freshwater water hoses for an RV.

I'm standing in this line that isn't moving because the cashier is conversating with the customer instead of scanning and bagging items.

20 minutes later, the line hasn't moved. A few more items have been scanned and bagged but the same woman is still checking out as when I got in the line. I'm still standing in the same spot, holding my two water hoses (thinking ahead to save a trip in the near future) in my arms, which were starting to ache.

In the next line over, a mature gentleman and his wife have been waiting and waiting, and are up next with their 3 items. The gentleman is wearing oxygen, for the record.

He looks at me and tells me to come in front of him and check out.

Y'all, I damn near cried a big ole snot slinging cry.

So today, I will be looking out for my opportunity to pay it forward. I will be looking for some way to touch a stranger and do something kind for her (or him) with no expectation of gaining anything from it.

Thank you to that gentleman who put things into perspective and completely turned my day and attitude around with one small gesture. Thank you for being a part of my recovery.


  1. It doesn't take much, does it, to lighten someone's load? Pay it forward is something we should all do. Thank you for this post!

  2. Beautiful, just beautiful. Those moments are the ones that will stay with us forever. Random Acts of Kindness.

  3. That is beautiful. I know you will find someone crossing your path soon to whom you can pay it forward.

    Sending you a little extra love today and you work through 8th step stuff. You are a rock star.

  4. I need to think about this, about how kindness feels when given away freely. Because I am up to my eyeballs in rage and misery and that's the kind of thing that can lift you right out.