Where the fuck are my socks?

We all know that I can't remember where I left my pants half the time.

So the fact that I can't find my fucking socks should come as no surprise.

If it were just one pair of socks, I might let it go, charge it to the game, chalk it up to a hungry washing machine, whatever. But it's like 6 pairs of fucking socks. They were all in my car Friday. (Don't ask what they were doing in my car. They were dirty.)

I cannot find my fucking socks.

I cleaned out the car. The socks did not show up in the laundry. They are not under the seat. They are not in my purse. They are not in the sock drawer. I have no fucking idea where in the hell my socks are, y'all.

Somebody please find my socks.