28 June 2012

The wall of shame

When we lived in a house (one that didn't have wheels, and therefore had a real refrigerator), I had this habit of writing down random weird things that people said. W was a major contributor to this wall, with shit like "hispanical" and "Guantanamero" making the grade to be featured on my wall.

However, I'm pretty sure that I was the biggest contributor. "There's a blanket somewhere", which came out of my mouth mid-spanish-study-session and referred to a blanket that I suddenly remembered I had washed but couldn't remember what happened to it beyond that.

"You never see her wearing the same thing twice, unless it's a rerun", which referred to Stacy London; and which had my Sunshine scratching his head and telling me that was the dumbest fucking thing he had ever heard me say.

One of the delights I had on that wall was "cookies and pamphlets are the legendary slayers of red tape", which was over heard in the language lab. (I have no idea what the hell it means, I just find ot delightful.)

My coworker Greg dropped a morsel on me this past weekend. "Did you know? The gods of death, they eat only apples." We were making coffee at the time. He tells me it comes from some anime or something; I don't care where it came from. I love it.

I have come across some gems on the twitter, mostly spewing from the accounts of fellow bandmates. "I like pie" and "pants are bullshit" are two of my favorite morsels of wisdom from the band, generally as answers to questions like "how would you bring about world peace?" or "how would you cut the federal deficit?"

Here lately, I find I've lost my sense of humor. I feel a thermonuclear meltdown brewing, and I don't know that this is a bad thing.

For whatever reason, this morning, I am stewing in my own juices over the wall of shame. I need to take myself less seriously. I also need some sleep.

So tomorrow, I smell laundry and naps on the schedule. Because life is too traumatic, and sometimes, naps set to soul soothing music are the meaning of life.

Now, hit me with some randomness. How would YOU bring about world peace?


  1. I like pie because pants are bullshit, and Bobcat Goldthwait is really a lime green skinned alien from the planet Fargishuope. I love you, and you're welcome!

  2. I told my daughter she was amazing. She said, "You mean AMAZEBALLS". Husband chimed in with, "No, she meant amaze sauce" Kid: "No, AWESOMEsauce, AMAZEballs!" Husband: "Awesome balls"
    Clearly, I have had no effect on my family.

    1. oh dear heaven, I think I just peed my pants. (which makes another reason pants are bullshit)

  3. I'm pretty sure world peace has something to do with french toast and Ryan Gosling's abs.
    Either that or buying the world a coke. Or some coke. I could be wrong. I was at the end of the telephone game on that one.

    1. yes, coke teaches the world to sing, in perfect harmony. I'm just not sure WHICH coke?