14 September 2012

When finding shoe storage involves cleaning out the kitchen cupboards

I was sitting here yesterday, trying to figure out what I was going to do with myself for the day, and all of a sudden it occurred to me that someday we will be buying an actual entertainment-center-type-thingamadoo and get this monster TV off of this broken coffee table.

For the record, this mythical entertainment-center-type-thingamodoo is probably a couple of months in the future.

That didn't deter me from creating a sudden, over-arching sense of urgency that all of the shoes that currently reside under said broken coffee table must find a new home. Now. Because where will they live when the entertainment center moves in and there is no time. The shoes have to have a new home. right. now.

You may be wondering why these shoes don't live in a closet. We live in the magic bus, and Sunshine's clothes are stored in the closet thing to a closet that this mighty RV has.

So, I began pondering where on earth could I put all the shoes. Of course, I thought that I could get rid of some clothes and make room in the clothes cupboards I use.


I couldn't part with any of the clothes. It's not like there are that many to begin with in the first place. I only have two upright cupboards about 3, maybe 3.5 feet tall by 18 inches wide for hanging clothes, and two the same size but oriented horizontally for folding clothes. That? Is not a lot of clothing, expecially when you consider that included in that small amount of space is pajamas, underwear, socks, sweaters, jeans, jackets, blouses, trousers, and anything that isn't a shoe or outerwear. Also, the spare set of sheets is in one of those cupboards.

So, getting rid of clothes to make room for shoes? Out of the question.

It all came down to the bathroom closet, which was filled with towels, a veritable doomsday-prepper's stockpile of personal hygiene products, the iron, the crockpot, cleaning supplies, and the toaster oven.

This meant that I had to clean out under the bathroom vanity to make room for the astonishing hoard of hygiene products. 6 bottles of body wash. 5 bottles of shampoo. 3 bottles of conditioner. 3 containers of exfoliating foot scrub. 400 cotton balls. 2 large (and full) bottles of developer for dying hair. Enough nail polish to stock a salon (when I only ever wear black with a clearcoat). Draino AND liquid plumber AND water softener as well as a two month supply of holding tank chemicals.

Don't I know we live in a fucking RV and don't have room for THAT MUCH SHIT?

Apparently not.

Then I had to clean out all the kitchen cupboards to make room for the kitchen things that had been living in the bathroom closet. It's a really good thing we don't use pots and pans around here. All of the pots and pans got moved to the "basement" storage compartments under the bus, yet still accessible for the day when we build our mythical outdoor kitchen. (Are you sensing a pattern here?)

Y'all, it took me hours and hours, and I sweated and got dusty and dirty (and my house? was and is clean so I have no clue where the dirt came from). Finally, all of the kitchen things live in the kitchen. The hygiene things live in the vanity under the sink. The pots and pans live outside. The shoes? Live in the bathroom closet.
OK, so maybe it isn't organized, but I actually got rid of shoes to make this work. I can only sacrifice so much in one day, mmmk?

Also? Sunshine? Hoards t-shirts, body powder and foot spray. So I am not the only one who doesn't understand that we live in an RV and DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR THIS MUCH SHIT. It's nice to know that I am never alone.


  1. I feel required, now, to comment! ;) I don't think I could manage in such a small space. Two years ago, yes, but I expanded into the size of the house I'm renting, and now downsizing would be hard... I admire the discipline it takes to make it work in such a small space! God bless!

    1. I didn't mean to make you feel obligated to comment, although I'm glad you did. I just wanted to (hopefully) make you laugh at the nature of my ridiculousness.

  2. The couple that hoards together, stays together. Most likely somewhere under the rubble.

  3. You are very creative in your storage!

    1. Now, if I could just figure out a creative way to either display or store my pinatas, I'd be set.

  4. Heh. Pinatas. I would simply lift the ceiling and hang'em'all.

    My issue is less about shoes and more about lego. It is idiotic I love it so much. But the variety of pieces these days, bits needed to build working cars and shit, phew.

    So today I bought one of those nail/screw/nut/washer sorter drawer thingie? And the first thing my husband asked when he saw it was, "is it for me?!" *snort*.

    I am planning to be laid up for much of October (don't ask, i'm hoping it involves rhinestones) and I plan to sort every last bit of it. And then build something cool. Like, you know, shoes?

  5. I can still remember (nearly 50 years later) when my family moved from a small apartment to an actual house. I can still see us wandering from room to room and commenting on SO MUCH SPACE. Within a year we had that place packed full of stuff. No matter if you have a mansion or an RV, stuff will always grow to exceed the space. It's just a law of nature.

    1. stuffs and things? Multiply like rabbits in corners.