Most days, I appreciate the wisdom I have gained through the years.
There are days, however, when the wisdom I've gained is small consolation for the pain I feel. The miles have been hard. Addiction hurts, y'all.
I've had more car crashes than the average crash test dummy. Most of them, I've been lucky to survive. These days, at 42, my body aches like somebody far older.
I've gotten used to the neck and back pain. I'm actually able to function pretty well in spite of it. So if I say "it hurts", well, it really fucking hurts.
Days like yesterday, I just don't even want to leave the house. Days like today, where I don't want to leave the house but have to go take the civil service exam, just blow.
In some ways, the wisdom I've gained throughout the years is a gift. I know that this too shall pass. For now. I won't think about that (hopefully) far off day when the pain is a constant companion. I just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and give myself extra time to accomplish a task.
I also know that I have so many people I can reach out to for love and support. A simple tweet can bring in so much love from across the miles that at least my heart feels better even though my neck/back/hip/insert body part here still hurts.
And then there's Sunshine. He can't stop the pain, but he sure is good at being sympathetic and kind.
So today, as I slowly get ready to hop in the car for that hour drive to town so that I can sit in a chair for heaven only knows how long to take a test that may or may not help me get a job, I carry y'all with me.
I'll get through today. It might not be fun, but I'll get through it.
Getting old sucks. Especially when the miles have been as hard as addiction made them.