09 November 2012

Where does all this shit come from?

Y'all know I have been trying to minimalize my home. I thought I was doing all right; I haven't had any astounding breakthroughs where I just dumped whole cabinets or drawers or closets full of things into a donate bin, but I was slowly sifting through shit and getting rid of stuffs and things.

I was in the DFW metroplex area this past weekend, and while there, I got rid of a veritable fucktonne of clothes. I finally got that box of giraffes and went through it, donating half of them to charity resale shops. I also joined TerraCycle and put together a pile of paired shoes to send them. (I know, me giving up shoes? This minimalizing thing has gotten serious. Or something.)

Back to my point. Where does all this shit come from?

As I packed for our weekend in DFW, I had a moment of extreme joy. It appeared as if I was about to finally use up all of those tiny, trial-sized tubes of Biotene toothpaste. WOOHOO for finally making a dent in that stockpile of hygiene products, right? WRONG. Somehow, those tiny, trial-sized tubes of Biotene got in the corner and bred like rabbits while I was gone. They literally tripled in number while I was gone. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened. I know where I originally obtained these tiny, trial-sized tubes; I do not know how they maintain their numbers when I am throwing away one of these tubes every other day. FML.

I'm not letting myself get discouraged about these tiny, trial-sized tubes of Biotene. Nor am I letting myself get discouraged by the quantity of lotions and creams I appear to have stockpiled under the bathroom sink. It's getting colder, and cold weather (or my skin) seems to suck up lotions and creams. The shampoo stockpile isn't offending me, either. Sunshine will take care of that one quickly, as he only uses about six times more than the recommended amount every time he washes his hair.

Speaking of Sunshine. He came home with a stack of button-up shirts the other day. He already owns bunches more clothes than I do; I don't know why the fuck he thought he needed more. Whatever, it's done. I did manage to get him to get rid of one old item of clothing for each new item he brought in. After I washed and ironed all those fucking shirts, I realized that there was no way in hell that they were going to fit into his closet. I actually got him to eliminate a couple more pieces. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell possessed him to bring home a bunch of button-up shirts. He rarely wears the ones he already owns. And where the fuck did Sunshine get shirts? He hates to shop. Also, I just got rid of 3,000 clothes hangers, now you're going to bring home more damn clothes that need to be hung up?

It's like this shit just materializes out of nowhere. Tiny, trial-sized tube of Biotene breeding in the corner; Sunshine has at least three times more clothes than I do; paper creates itself from dust-bunnies around here; dog toys pop up in the strangest places; and let's not talk about all the damned hunting gear sale papers and catalogs that show up every time we check the PO box.

Where does all this shit come from?

10 comments:

  1. Oh darling, the field day you would have with my boyfriend and his father. While I do tend to hoard certain things, I'm all about throwing other stuff away. While attempting to sort out the FIL's paperwork, I discovered a receipt for fast food from 1994. He paid cash, it was under five dollars for Pete's sake. NO IDEA why he kept it.
    You have inspired me, though. I'm gradually clearing out items I can't wear anymore and either giving them to friends, donating them, or using the fabric for fun things.
    Love you more than chocolate and warmth.

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    1. I will say that at least Sunshine isn't as fucked up as my 2ndphone husband, who in the late 90s refused to get rid of boom boxes from the early 80s, because he might need parts.

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  2. I once took all my trial sized shampoos and dumped them into an empty shampoo bottle - it was the best shampoo I ever used. Trial sized shampoos will also breed in captivity - keep an eye on those suckers.

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    1. I refuse to keep those fuckers when I see them in hotels. They always manage to breed ON THE WAY HOME. Thank heaven Sunshine finally quit collecting them!

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  3. I am convinced if I put junk mail on the kitchen counter it breeds in seconds so that by the time I make my way back into the kitchen there are 10 sale fliers.

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    1. Oh, they do. It is part of the capitalist marketeers' conspiracy to get us to buy more stuff because our clothes aren't cool enough amd our kitchen gadgets aren't specialiized enough and our armputs are the wrong color.

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  4. I am trying to purge, but am so far failing to get the kids on board with it. Also, you iron? You are a saint, woman.

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    1. My mom taught me to iron when I was a kid. I've always done my ironing, although there are days (like the one where I ironed all those shirts for Sunshine) when I'm crying and slinging snot the whole time. I have many long reasons that I continue to iron, maybe I'll write a post about them. It actually gets real deep, and would probably reveal more than I'm comfortable with, which means I should definitely do it; if not here, then over at the band.

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  5. And what's the story with the plastic grocery bags? I even bought trash cans the same size so I could be all green and use them and not buy trash bags. But I swear when you put them under the sink they have some kind of plastic bag orgies. Or cloning. They make rabbits look celibate. But every time I purge, I suddenly have no trash bags. Even though I know I just bought groceries. Could they be an alien life form, put here on earth to drive us nuts?

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    1. Ooh, good question! I use the reusable ones myself, except for at convenience stores because I use those bags to clean my car (and let's not get started on how the trash in the car multiplies) and the bags multiply in the car. Until I actually go to clean it, at which point? No bags. Definitely some sort of invasive species.

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