08 January 2013

Cindy's big adventure

Sometimes, magic bus life is complicated.

When I want to do anything in what passes for a kitchen here, I have to move no less than three things. I have just enough counter space to hold a coffee maker and a blender, and NOT side-by-side. To use one, I have to move the other.

Yesterday was one of those days when it was just complicated.

See, some time ago, the teeny tiny gas water heater died. When I say teeny tiny, I mean teeny tiny. The damn thing only held 6 gallons of water. What the hell good is a six gallon water heater? That's almost enough hot water to wash my pinkie toe. So we replaced the teeny tiny water heater with a more functional 18 gallon electric water heater. However, the newer, larger water heater doesn't fit into the cubby that the old one came out of (obviously), so we bought a Rubbermaid storage shed to hide the newer, larger water heater and set it up alongside the magic bus.

Turns out that the shed, while clever, is a massive obstruction. It is just about a half inch too wide for the space it occupies; we cannot open the storage compartment that contains my gear bag and Sunshine's bug-out bag because we have to leave the awning leg (and the stupid little thing the leg attaches to) uncovered and accessible. Let's ignore for a moment that a bug-out bag does no fucking good if you have no access to it and get to the real issue here.

I couldn't get to my gear bag to get those scissors and things out of it for my girl Tia. All was not lost, though. The back half of the magic bus is special. There is no drive shaft in the way, so the compartments go all the way across from one side to the other. The downside to that is that the space in there is literally only high enough to slither through like a snake (and then only if you're kind of small, like me--Sunshine couldn't get his self in there for sure).

I actually managed to get into the crawl space without unplugging the power cord that supplies the magic bus with the magic juice from the power pole. I also managed to avoid blowing any of the breakers for both of the electrical systems. (Yes, I crawled past major electrical shit on my way through the bus to get my gear bag. I never said I was smart.)

Thank heaven for all of those years I spent pulling cable across arena floors. I couldn't even get into the crawl space without using my elbows to pull myself in there, because my feet were dangling off the ground at that point. I wish I had positioned someone outside to take pictures, because I am sure the visual was hilarious.

I had to slither across the crawl space and then reach down into the compartment to pull the damn gear bag up. Then I had to slither backwards and pull the damn gear bag with me. I hope nobody was home on that end of the RV park, because as I slithered out backwards, my sweater tried to stay inside the crawl space. Also, my ass was dangling there in midair again.

I got the bag, I didn't blow up the magic bus or fry myself, and my sweater made it out still on my body. However, I am tired now.

I hope you know I love you, Tia. And if Sunshine decides he needs luggage for some weekend out of town, he is using my gear bag, and I don't care HOW he feels about traveling with a giraffe-printed rolling duffel bag.


  1. I feel like this post needs video more than stills, actually. :) Also, thank you for reminding me that my kitchen could be smaller - I need to stop complaining.

    1. Video would be mortifying. Or horrifically entertaining. Or possibly educational, as I am sure I strung together all of our favorite curse words in extremely creative new ways. And then, there is the matter of my butt, suspended in midair. UGH.

      Also, Sunshine has no fucking clue how ginormous any kitchen he builds me will have to be, no clue how many square miles of countertops I will insist upon having, how adamant I am going to be that neither the kitchen sink nor the stove be against a wall. He's lucky I have found remnants of beautiful granite outside his warehouse that I want for those countertops. Wow, I'm totally writing a new post here. Maybe I should save the dream kitchen for its own post another day. If he ever builds it, I promise you pics!