So, recently, I have had reason to look around the house and found that we have enough fucking blankets to keep an entire Scandinavian village warm. I'm not exaggerating by much. There are no less than 5 blankets on the driver's seat of the magic bus, there are two on the couch,
Now, when I did all of this damned cleaning and minimalizing, I know good and fucking well there were not this fucking many blankets in this fucking magic bus. So, where the hell did all these blankets come from? I do not fucking know. I have no explanation. There is no logical reason for us to have this many blankets. It makes no sense.
It doesn't end with the blankets. I got all excited that I had slowly reduced the number of bottles of hygiene products. Then I went digging around in the bathroom for cold medicine and found more beauty products that I didn't even remember having. It is shameful how much face lotion, body lotion, and body butter is hiding in my home.
It gets worse. I was looking for some pepper the other day, and as I dug around in the hoard of spices, I found three fucking bottles of mustard. Three, not counting the bottle in the fridge. There are at least two bottles of some sort of Parmesan-Caesar type salad dressing hiding in the kitchen (we rarely eat salad), and I'm afraid to count the number of bottles of olive oil hiding in the cupboard.
Sunglasses. Sunshine and I both have no less than four pairs of shades. I'm pretty sure that he has more like 8 pairs. I do know the reason for the madness with the shades. Sunshine loses/breaks shades like I lose ink pens, so I buy as many as I can afford in his style any time I find them so I can stash them for the inevitable day that he loses another pair. Apparently, this strategy backfired on me in a way, because I don't think he has lost a pair in over 6 months. As for me, you just shut your whore mouth about my shades--I have a pair for every purpose.
Tape. We have painter's tape, plumber's tape, duck tape, electrical tape, masking tape (AKA board spike tape), scotch tape, and gaffer's tape. Empty five gallon buckets? check. Empty coolers? check. Grilling utensils that never get used? check. Multiple boxes of pickling salt? check. Vitamins/supplements that nobody takes? check. Bandaids that don't get used because I quit wearing shoes that give me blisters? check. Legs chewed off of dog toys? check. Four flash drives? check. Shisk-ka-bob skewer sticks? check.
How in fuck do I wind up with so much random shit?
I need to go throw some shit away or something.
Anybody that needs any bandaids, vitamins/supplements, blankets, or mustard, or any other random weird shit--please let me know. I probably have some.