I've talked and talked about how broke Sunshine and I have been. I'm not going to talk about that today. Well, not exactly.
Sunshine recently came to me and told me that we would not be buying land and building a house. He said that it just wasn't going to be financially possible. I must confess to a great sense of relief.
However, almost immediately I was struck with a great sense of sadness. As much as I did NOT want to buy land and build a house, it was Sunshine's dream. He has always wanted to build a house himself, and he wanted to give me a house that would give me some security if anything happened to him.
I told him how sorry I was that he wasn't going to live out his dream.
Want to know what he said?
"Our whole philosophy this last year has been to reduce debt. If we don't take on any more, I can work less and hunt more."
I mean, how amazing is his attitude? How amazing is this man that can find some serious Happy in the death of a dream?
This? Is why I love him.
I think there can be peace and relief in letting go of an old dream. I often find that I have to revise my dreams because they really don't fit into my life or desires anymore. Kudos Sunshine, for catching on quick!
ReplyDeleteIn N.A. they say that lost dreams re-awaken, but none of the things I dreamed about before I got clean are the things I want now. Sunshine is pretty quick, isn't he?
DeleteWow, that's so awesome. Tears sprang to my eyes. What a lot of peace you have brought to both of your lives, knowing that you needed to follow your path to decreasing your perceived needs in order to really live.
ReplyDeleteHey, are you having the same problem I'm having though? Sometimes I miss the old ways, the stupidity of being pleased by things I grew up expecting I would want. Not very often, and when I try to scratch that itch, it seems so inauthentic. But still I get the cravings.
So weird.
Love Sunshine so much from over here.
You aren't that weird. I get the itch sometimes. Sometimes I scratch it; and often I do think about how full of shit I am. Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one that feels funny about such things.
DeleteI believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the things we wish for aren't what's right for us or what's meant for us. When I pray for something I ask if it is right for me to let it happen and if it is not right for me to not let it happen. My friend always says the universe is teaching us lessons. Kudos to Sunshine for quickly adapting to what's meant to be and not what he wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteSunshine? Is awesome like that. Until he snores at night. But mostly, he's just awesome.
DeleteHe sounds like a keeper!
ReplyDeleteAnd for reals, having a house is not all it's cracked up to be. We bought here because rents keep rising at a rate faster than our incomes, but holy crap this house business is rough when you don't have the money and/or time to take care of it - to garden, to clean, to improve the windows or decorate it properly or make sure there are no bugs eating your walls. It's honestly overwhelming, and I'm not sure yet it's a dream worth fulfilling!
I think hunting is going to bring him a lot more pleasure and be a hell of a lot less stressful, too.
Home ownership is really over-rated. Maintenance, taxes, insurance, lawn-care; it's a headache, and not one I wanted. I'm not sure why he wanted it, but I'm glad he would rather work less and hunt more instead of take on a mortgage. Maybe he'll hang out with me and the puppy some when he isn't working; he can't hunt all the time, right?
DeleteI'm sorry to see his dream go, but I love his positive outlook. I'm relieved for you and hopeful that things will turn around for you guys soon. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThings are marginally better right now, Because at least his phone is ringing with people thinking about having brick work done. I'm just grateful I have someone with such a great attitude in my life. Come to think of it I have a lot of people with a great attitude in my life!
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