Frightening changes

So Sunshine and I have decided that I will become his bookkeeper as soon as we can buy a new computer for me to use. I won't go into the multiple reasons why we started thinking about this. The bottom line is that he has decided it will save him/his business $1200/month, and that is what ultimately convinced him this was a good idea.

Being the "woman who keeps his life manageable" is not what I wanted. I did that shit for my second husband and it was (sometimes) way too much 'togetherness' for us. Then there's this: I saw how he treated the managerial wonder-woman who DID keep his life manageable, and I am surprised she didn't kick him in the taco at least once a week.

For me, ultimately it is about how much responsibility this places on my shoulders. If I had shoulders like Sunshine's, that wouldn't bother me. I don't. His forearms are bigger than my upper arms, they're probably bigger than my calves. Which means that his upper arms almost rival my thighs in size.
Back to the point.
Fear of responsibility. Fear of fucking up something important.

If this were somebody else's 'stuffz' I was about to be taking over, I'd probably feel reasonably competent and dive right in.

Whatever. I'll get over it.

Ultimately, Sunshine is right. It will save him/his business at least $1200/month. He'll be paying me to do this stuffz, naturally. Because I am worth paying and we both know it. But with me on payroll, he can stop giving me my 'allowance' check every week.

Let me digress and explain the allowance business. I created and maintain his web site, so there's that. But the payment originated to help me pay for the extra gas I use now that we live in BFE (where HE wanted to live). Once I lost my campus job, it paid for my gas each week.

Back to how this move saves Sunshine a lot of money. He eliminates the web maintenance fee. He eliminates the current bookkeeper's salary. That salary then goes to me. Whatever is left over after gas and cigarettes will be used in the usual manner my income gets used. I'll pick up the odd grocery item we run out of, I'll pick up the light bill, I'll buy my own oil and shit to maintain my car, I'll provide myself with laundry quarters, I'll pay the satellite bill and my phone bill,
(Speaking of phone, I'm going to have to get a bigger minutes package)
And so on.

So Sunshine saves a lot of money. By saving him so much money, I just earned a raise. Damn, I'm good bwahahahaha.

While I like being self-supporting, I fear the additional 'togetherness'. The man can be a total fucking ass and most of my pay will be earned through fixing other people's fuck-ups.

Y'all pray for me. Patience may be a virtue, but it ain't one of mine.