I never have to live through today again. And that's a very good thing indeed.

It started with me tearing through the closet, trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to wear. I swear I changed clothes at least eleventy times.

Then I get held up for almost a half hour by bulldozers moving railroad cross-ties across the road out here in bumfuck.

Then I go to ship my donations for the auction over at the Band Back Together Project and mah gawd at what it costs to ship things these days! How the hell can the United States Postal Service be going broke with rates like that? At least it was for a good cause. Now go round up all your spare cash and bid on that pair of Missoni for Target pumps I donated. They look like this. size 7.5.

Then I get home and proceed to unload the groceries. Sounds harmless enough, right?

Wrong. The box of raisin bran explodes all over the magic bus while I am trying to put it into the fancy rubbermaid cereal storage container.

Then, as I opened the fridge to get out one of my not yet cold diet Dr. Peppers, the contents of the door fly across the magic bus, causing a glass bottle of parmesan peppercorn salad dressing to saturate the wood floor of the kitchen.

The upside to today?

I did get my resume delivered to the employment service. Thank you, Benjamin, for making me sound employable.

I never have to live through this day again.