14 June 2012

I never saw it coming

When I was a kid, I couldn't imagine what my future might be like. I didn't have dreams of the 3 bedroom house with the white picket fence where I would live with a husband and our 2.3 children. Even as a kid I didn't ever see myself wanting kids. Or a house.

As a child of the 80s (much of which I don't really remember, which means I was really a child of the 80s), I always felt drawn to that Michael Mann version of life. Modern, minimalist urban homes that had no relation to the picket fence and 2.5 kids were always the ones I liked; I even decorated a living room in design class with white walls and a red sofa and nothing more once in high school.

I never figured that I'd get married. Of course, I never thought much that I WOULDN'T get married, either.

What I do know is that I never (and I do mean never), saw myself growing up to he a twice divorced recovering junkie who lived in a magic bus in the swamps with a native-american mother-earth bush-hippie (Mr. Sunshine) and a dog that doesn't know it's a dog (Mollie).

I'm still a minimalist when it comes to home decorating style. I love all things sleek and modern and I hate having lots of stuff taking up space (and collecting dust) in a room. I have learned to compromise with Sunshine on this, however, as he is definitely a collector of dust catchers.

And there lies the big surprise for me, I guess. Mr. Sunshine. If I had to grow up, settle down, and prepare to grow old, I can't think of a better way to do it than with Sunshine. And our Mollie, who I hope I outlive, because my little doggie will grieve herself to death if I die before she does.

I didn't grow up to become the mom/wife with 2.3 kids and a white picket fence, thank heaven. (Mad props to all moms/wives out there. There's nothing wrong with being wife and mom, it just wasn't what I wanted. Mayne I didn't want the responsibility, iono.)

I just never saw myself settling down. I never saw myself being comfortable with getting older.

And yet here I am doing just that.

Funny how life works.

I just never saw it coming.


  1. Most great things happen when we aren't looking, huh?

  2. I always think it is the people, places and things that come to us most naturally without any premeditation are who/what/where we are meant to be.