Yesterday, I sat here at home watching Sunshine roast corn for the big community Thanksgiving lunch event and decided that if my little doggie couldn't go, then I wasn't going either.
Sunshine took his heap of roasted corn and went to the event location while my Mollie and I ate some turkey and dressing and macaroni & cheese that some friends of Sunshine's had sent home with him as he left their place after his morning hunt. As I watched the dog eat her feast, I realized that I was more content sitting here alone with my dog than I could have been in any other setting. The only thing missing was Sunshine. About that time, he called and said that there were tables set up outside, so Mollie could indeed come celebrate with us.
I went. I felt so out of place sitting there among a hoard of people I barely know, looking at the most obscene amounts of food, listening to their inane conversations about stuff that really doesn't matter.
I'm sitting here this morning, grateful to understand that Black Friday is really just about buying more shit that nobody needs. I almost got tempted by the Nook simple touch for $40 off at Barnes & Noble, but then I realized that it just wasn't worth catching a charge for shanking a bitch over a gadget to save $40. I also realized that, really, I've been willing to pay full price all along; why would I subject myself (and Sunshine, and Mollie, and my attorney) to the fallout from a Black Friday brouhaha? (Although my attorney has always joked that I am good for his business, he was so glad to see me clean and healthy after a hiatus of several years; so at least the fucker has a human side.)
I slept in this morning. As I sat sipping my coffee, my little puppy got out of bed to join me on the couch. She climbed in my lap and snuggled her little head under my chin. I wrapped her in a blanket and enjoyed the moment. As Mollie and I snuggled, Sunshine texted me from his chosen hunting spot for the morning and asked me if I wanted to go see a movie tomorrow. Actually, yes, I would like to actually spend some time with him, so WOOHOOOOOOOOOO!
So I sit here thinking about "supposed to", and how I am sick and tired of supposed to.
We don't do a lot of what people are "supposed to": we live in an RV, we drive used vehicles, we don't have credit card debt racked up consuming more stuffs and things we don't need or really even want; we live rather simply and find the greatest pleasure in the smallest things.
We don't need to constantly seek validation from other people, we don't need stuffs and things to make us feel worthy, we don't feel like we're missing anything by not hopping on the latest bandwagon. In spite of Sunshine's large hoard of stuffs and things, he doesn't acquire shit to validate himself; it's hunting gear and sentimental shit he hoards.
We just don't feel trapped in a vicious cycle of supposed to. Neither of us is overly bothered by the fact that our respective surviving parents are currently angry at us for their own unique reasons. We don't feel obligated to continue subjugating our own feelings to try and make somebody else happy. We know that we are doing the best we can with what we have to work with right now, and that leaves us feeling right with ourselves and right with our makers.
So, on #blackfriday, we're not caught up in that vicious cycle of what society seems to think we're supposed to do. We're looking at what we DO do, and we're content with it.
Now, I'm off to have some more coffee, and listen to the clock tick with the passing of man as my puppy naps beside me and the birds chirp outside my windows. Living in the moment is precious, and I am going to enjoy my moment.