Eva Mendez once said "Perfection is unattainable. To strive for it makes you boring." Now, it's easy for Eva Mendez to say some shit like that. She's got it all. She's hot, she's rich, and she's famous. I am none of these.
I get so tired of all of the negative messaging out there. I mean, I do love my fashion magazines, but I understand that the women pictured in those magazines have been photoshopped beyond recognition. Many of them have had their legs photoshopped to be the size of the average 8-year-old's arm, their waists photoshopped to make Scarlett O'Hara's 18" corseted waist look positively obese, and their skin photoshopped to look smoother than porcelain (I mean, really, y'all do know that those women have pores, even if the pictures in magazines make it look like they don't). And has anybody noticed that there is never a stray hair in fashion magazines? Photoshop.
Back when I did my photoshoot for the Band Back Together calendar, I watched in amazement as my photographer (who is not an expert in the field of photoshopping) took my head shot and within three seconds, got rid of my dark undereye circles, my breakout from eating something that contained citric acid, and my pores.
Long ago, I quit worrying about the number on the tags of my garments. I've talked about it before: there is no method to the madness of women's clothing sizing. But it goes deeper than that for me.
I have decided that I just don't give a shit what society thinks is beautiful. What society thinks is beautiful is nothing more than a digital fantasy. Do I really want to live in the Matrix with the rest of "polite society"? Thanks but no thanks, I think I'd rather free my mind. I'd rather not waste my time worrying about becoming something that it is impossible to become.
I have enough to worry about without that bullshit weighing me down. I mean, the economy is shit, my family thinks I'm stupid, Sunshine has got it into his head that he wants to buy land and build a house, and I still haven't figured out how the checking account is off by just over $300 (but fuck it, it's off the good way so I'm not overly worried about it). And none of that even takes into consideration the fact that I am a recovering addict.
So instead of wasting time worrying about what will never be, I have reached a point where I understand that I am perfectly human. Which means that I am not perfect. Thank heaven I no longer care to be.