Eva Mendez once said "Perfection is unattainable. To strive for it makes you boring." Now, it's easy for Eva Mendez to say some shit like that. She's got it all. She's hot, she's rich, and she's famous. I am none of these.
I get so tired of all of the negative messaging out there. I mean, I do love my fashion magazines, but I understand that the women pictured in those magazines have been photoshopped beyond recognition. Many of them have had their legs photoshopped to be the size of the average 8-year-old's arm, their waists photoshopped to make Scarlett O'Hara's 18" corseted waist look positively obese, and their skin photoshopped to look smoother than porcelain (I mean, really, y'all do know that those women have pores, even if the pictures in magazines make it look like they don't). And has anybody noticed that there is never a stray hair in fashion magazines? Photoshop.
Back when I did my photoshoot for the Band Back Together calendar, I watched in amazement as my photographer (who is not an expert in the field of photoshopping) took my head shot and within three seconds, got rid of my dark undereye circles, my breakout from eating something that contained citric acid, and my pores.
Long ago, I quit worrying about the number on the tags of my garments. I've talked about it before: there is no method to the madness of women's clothing sizing. But it goes deeper than that for me.
I have decided that I just don't give a shit what society thinks is beautiful. What society thinks is beautiful is nothing more than a digital fantasy. Do I really want to live in the Matrix with the rest of "polite society"? Thanks but no thanks, I think I'd rather free my mind. I'd rather not waste my time worrying about becoming something that it is impossible to become.
I have enough to worry about without that bullshit weighing me down. I mean, the economy is shit, my family thinks I'm stupid, Sunshine has got it into his head that he wants to buy land and build a house, and I still haven't figured out how the checking account is off by just over $300 (but fuck it, it's off the good way so I'm not overly worried about it). And none of that even takes into consideration the fact that I am a recovering addict.
So instead of wasting time worrying about what will never be, I have reached a point where I understand that I am perfectly human. Which means that I am not perfect. Thank heaven I no longer care to be.
Amen, sister. I've never been pretty. Cute, maybe, or the dreaded "interesting" looking, and a year away from 50, I've long stopped giving a shit. I've seen the hypocrisy of beautiful, and I've seen the avarice of men who want to be seen with the right woman, and the way I look at it, I'm lucky that I'm not going to be prey to some idiot who wants to impress his friends. Women do it, too, I know: pretty girls still get more attention, even when bitches. Or not. It's so liberating (this coming form someone who once had an eating disorder) to just say, "the only person who has to like the way I look is me." To just refuse the assumption of the game, and walk away.
ReplyDeleteI think that's the beautiful thing about being on "the wrong side of 40". I quit giving a shit about all that superficial shit, and I get OK with being exactly what and who I am. That's wisdom, and you? Have it in spades!
DeleteBeautifully said, Cindy. We all want to look presentable, for the most part, but life is easier when we get that it is a spectrum thing.
ReplyDeleteThat said, it is really tricky raising kids in this climate. Let me tell you. Sometimes I want to smack some of the kids' parents upside the head and say, Really?! Really???!!!
Also: land?! a house?! Have you seen this: http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/ ?
Seriously, if we didn't have kids, I'd be so all over this concept. I want to build one for my backyard for our post-kids life ...
The Z-glass house on that site? Stunning! And just the right amount of space. We're currently in an RV that is 36' long by 8' wide, so we don't need anything really big.
DeleteWait, what? You're downsizing and he wants to buy a land and build a house...men are funny!
ReplyDeleteI love to see the pictures of the women without their make up. It makes me feel human and real. That's the stuff my daughter needs to see, not the crap in VS, that goes straight in the garbage!
Yes, he has decided we're in need of land so we can build a house. He is crazy. Property taxes, maintenance, all those headaches. I suppose there is hope for him: he's talking about a small house. Maybe 3X the size of the bus, which would give us a more usable bathroom, a kitchen I can actually use, and a storm shelter/safe room (which is actually smart considering we live at the intersection of tornado alley &the dixie alley). Thank heaven he isn't talking mcmansion or anything.
DeleteStriving for perfection makes you boring?! I'm not sure I get that, but . . . being older does bring a certain contentment or confidence with who you are! I love that!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what Eva Memdez was getting at, but for me, it brings to mind all my image obsessed acquaintances. They bore me with their constant talk of how they have flabby thighs and need lipo, or need botox because there's an imaginary crease on their forehead, or their clothes aren't new enough and trendy enough. Boring. Seriously boring.
DeleteYou are such an inspiration. I think I need to read this every day until I believe it as much as I think it, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteTry thinking of this digital fantasy the next time you watch tv, or read a magazine. They airbrush and photoshop people into impossible mannequins. Looking at it from that perspective? Makes me realize how ridiculous it is to strive for that unattainable perfection, helps me see it for what it is: ad-man pressure to remain discontent so I'll spend more money chasing impossible dreams of perfection.
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