14 August 2012

I blame the meeting

So yesterday was rather productive and I ended it feeling pretty good. I blame the meeting I made Saturday night.

I made my homegroup, and it is amazing how quickly peace started to overcome me as I sat in that chair. It's amazing how different my attitude was yesterday compared to last week.

I got up and cleaned the nasty ass bathroom that hasn't seen a rag and cleaning solution in heaven only knows how long. I had a great conversation with a friend, and I went to the DMV. The DMV didn't take as long or cost as much as I expected it to, so I went shopping. (Hey, I've been obsessing over wanting a purple top or blouse. I found a deep blue one that is almost indigo and it will do nicely, thank you.)

Somewhere during my day I realized that I will be paying off that stupid ticket from the crash with the paycheck I get today. What a relief. Also, I only owe the doctor a mere eighty dollars, if they'd ever send me a statement so I could pay it off. However, I can pay that in little ten dollar bits here and there since I won't need his services again until pollen season.

I also came to the realization that I have probably quit my job and just haven't told them yet. (I still haven't decided if I am going to tell them at all, considering that I told them Sunday as I left that they need not even bother trying to call me on Monday as I would be dealing with the DMV and couldn't help them and they fucking called me anyway at eight in the morning before I had even finished my second cup of coffee. I totally ignored the call. My sponsor said "good for you!")

I also got halfway to caught up with the laundry, and only have ironing left to do.

In spite of the fact that I did not do ALL THE THINGS yesterday, it felt really productive. It felt really good. I may not have done anything super exciting or out of the ordinary; that doesn't change the fact that it felt like I was alive.

Today, I gots to do mah hairs. The roots is showing I gots to go to the grocery store. We haz no food. But that's all right. I also gots to take mah puppy to a puppy birthday party at the puppy day care, and I am having lunch (not Starbucks) with a friend. We might even play some air hockey.

Today, I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for a new perspective. I am grateful for Sunshine. I am feeling peace in spite of the honey-do list I still have awaiting me. Today is a good day.

I blame the meeting.

8 comments:

  1. That is wonderful. I am so happy for you.

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    1. I hope this peace lasts. Searching for a job is frightening for me!

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  2. I'm so glad you got a day to do what needed/wanted to be done. Find your happiness-you deserve it.

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    1. I blew off some steam yesterday. Now the hard part starts. I have got to find a job worth keeping. Wish me luck!

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  3. Now that you're motivated can you come motivate me?

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    1. Fear is my motivator right now. I don't recommend it; it is so hard to breathe, and it is emotionally uncomfortable. I'll get through it. I havve a wonderful support network walking through the fear with me.

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  4. You sound great, Cindy! I really need to get to my meeting. We've had to settle for phone calls (it's just two of us right now) and it's not the same as face to face interaction. You're right, sitting in that familiar setting is just so, well, familiar.

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    1. And so comforting. I could use a meeting right fucking now. I am nervous and afraid and excited and there are so many things to be done and a job to try and find, gah. Thank you for walking with me through this.

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