Can tubes of toothpaste reproduce asexually?

I am down to one tiny, trial-sized tube of Biotene. Let's see that motherfucker reproduce now.

I still haven't figured out how so much stuff appears in my house. I spend hours pondering this great mystery instead of actually doing anything about it.

Rather than tackle the pantry and get rid of foodstuffs that I know will not get eaten (thanks for that weird diet, Sunshine), I sit here and wonder what the fuck to do with it all. I have also delayed digging in the basement storage compartments under the bus to whittle down the amount of The Christmas decorations, because that would entail actually making decisions about which ones to keep and which ones to get rid of.

However, Thanksgiving is a couple of days away, which means that I hear the sound of inevitability. I smell the aroma of dust (note to self: buy some damned zyrtec today).

I have enjoyed this break from minimalizing the amount of stuffs and things in my home, but now it is time to get back to work. It's time to send out The Christmas cards, thereby creating more storage under the bed (until those The Christmas merchandise clearance sales, which is how I can afford to send The Christmas cards to folks). It's time to look at all those The Christmas decorations and face the evidence of consumerist schizophrenia in the form of multiple The Christmas personalities stored under the magic bus (we have everything from traditional hand-made ornaments to modern pop-culture-ish-colored ornaments to winterwonderland-themed shit hiding away down there); it begs the question "who am I and which one of these personalities is me?"

I think I have digressed.

Brushing my teeth this morning, I realized that there was only one tiny, trial-sized tube of that Biotene toothpaste left. With such a wonderful hint of progress staring me in the face, I think it is time to get back to the task at hand: getting rid of unnecessary stuffs and thing. I once again long to remove the superfluous.

I dare that one remaining tiny trial-sized tube of Biotene toothpaste to multiply like rabbits now that it has no-one to breed with. And if I wake up tomorrow morning to find that there are once again multiples of tiny, trial-sized tubes of Biotene toothpaste in my bathroom, I will go on a mission to figure out which one of you initiated the conspiracy to place them there.